Tag Archives: positivity

New Year’s Resolution or Goals for 2013

30 Dec

Do you make New Year’s Resolutions or goals at the end of December? I have in the past, at least New Year’s Resolutions, but they never really panned out. There is the ever popular “I will lose weight.”  Or “I will be better”, which what does that even mean?

I’ve always been a little over-ambitious when it comes to goals, from personal life to work. It’s great to have big dreams, but if your goal isn’t attainable, you will find yourself disappointed. When I was younger, I would read about four books at a time, try to do multiple things at the same time, and thought I would grow up to be famous. As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned the goals need to be measurable and attainable. Is it possible for me to get everything done that I want to in one day at work? Can I finish all seven books I checked out from the library in three weeks? Can I accomplish everything I plan to do around the house in one weekend?

I think part of the reason that I am continually stressed out is because I put too many expectations on myself and the people around me. I, and they, typically end up falling short. And then I wind up disappointed and frustrated. There is no one that is harder on myself then me.

So instead of concentrating on the negative and setting myself up for failure, I’m going to break my goals down to months, not a year. I will make a vision board for 2013 to help inspire me. I will focus on my health in order to get pregnant and not focus on losing weight. I will not jam pack my schedule with expectations or items that I can’t accomplish. I will take time for myself, and put my health first. I will not strive to be “perfect” but just to be the best me I can be.

 

Living in the moment

27 Sep

I’m not going to lie–I love Oprah. One night when my husband was out-of-town and there was nothing on TV, I stumbled upon Oprah’s Lifeclass on OWN. The lesson was with Iyanla Vanzant, and it was about relationships between women. The show was pretty eye-opening, especially a statement that Iyanla said, “Comparing yourself to others is an act of violence against oneself.” I was hooked to OWN for the rest of the weekend! Oprah also said something that weekend that stuck with me. Oprah had a dog that was constantly moving and never slowed down. One day the dog went after a ball, choked on it and died. Oprah was devastated, but she looked for the lesson from the experience—slow down or you will wear yourself to death! She said, “I believe everything happens for a reason, and we are meant to learn from it.”

I believe I saw that episode of Lifeclass for a reason. Lately I’d been comparing myself to other people, especially when it came to parenthood. It’s not like I am unable to have children, but my uterine fibriods could have an impact. This is not the right time for my husband and I to have a child; we aren’t there just yet. But in the next year we will start trying. However, I kept comparing myself to other people my age or younger raising children, having children, and getting pregnant. My head says, “That’s not fair. Why can’t I have a child now? What if I won’t be able to get pregnant”, etc. I also know everyone lives life at their own pace. But I was not connecting the two. I’ve finally come to accept that it will happen when we are ready and when the time is right. I will only hurt myself and possibly my relationships if I continue to compare myself with others.

This morning I watched a Lifeclass episode I recorded last weekend about living in the moment. How strange I should happen to pick this episode?! I had a particularly rough day at work and was thinking about things that happened in the past. This is something I tend to do quite a bit, as well as think of things I have to do in the future. I rarely live in the present! Even when I’m getting a massage or taking a run, I’m constantly checking on a mental list of things I have to do. It’s terrible. The part of the episode that especially touched me was when they brought in a mother who was burned in a plane accident over 80% of her body. She said when she was in a coma she heard a voice saying she could choose to live a difficult life or die. She chose to live. They paired her with a mom who was dissatisfied with her life and the little things. They spent the day together and she saw how much the mother with injuries struggled with opening things, not being able to hold her children, and the pain of her wounds. She said it really opened her up to appreciating every moment with her children and to be present when she spent time with them.

When I am at home tonight with my dogs and my husband, I’m going to live in the present. I’m going to appreciate them and focus on that moment. I’m not going to worry about work, having children, or the dishes on the counter. I’m going to enjoy the ones I love.

Enjoy the moment!

What Did You Accomplish Today?

24 Sep

Mondays…they often feel like such a challenge. But instead of complaining about it, I decided this morning, I was going to grab Monday by the you-know-what! I posted this status update to my Facebook page, “Happy Monday! Think of all the possibilities and things you can accomplish this week!” It really put me in a better mood. I started to think of all the adventures, challenges to face, obstacles to overcome. I’ve been in a very mundane mood lately. Get up, go to work, go home, make dinner, go to bed. I’ve been focusing on the monotony and not the great things, like the way the fog looked on my walk this morning. Or how good I felt after doing a workout this morning. Or how comforting it is to have a pup lay by your side. Or how my husband makes me laugh every day.

 

Enjoy the scenery!

To change my attitude around, I’ve been retraining my brain to think positive. I read an article recently about a psychologist who recommended treating that negative voice in your head like the mean girl in high school who wants nothing but bad things to happen to you. I’ve also started saying daily affirmations, which I thought sounded a little hokey at first, but I think they honestly work. You are training that negative voice in your head that says, “You’re stupid!” to say “You are smart!”

I’ve also learned that you won’t get as much affirmation at work or home that you would like. So instead of relying on other people to lift me up, I’m going to rely on myself. At night, I think of three things I did well at work and I e-mail them to my work e-mail. That way, I’m thinking about it right before I go to bed and it’s one of the first things I see in the morning.

As far as accomplishments, I got a lot done today at home and at work. This morning I took the girls on a 30 minute walk, and did some mybarre3 workouts at home. If you haven’t tried this workout, I highly recommend it. It helps with your posture, gives you a great stretch, gets you toned, and is quite challenging! This is my primary method of toning besides yoga with my back injury, and I feel like my back is getting better. My muscles aren’t as tense all the time and I wake up less sore. Right now I’m just doing 10 minutes of toning per day and 10 minutes of stretching. After I do this for a few weeks, I’ll move up to 20 minutes, etc. mybarre3 has monthly subscriptions you can purchase if you don’t have a studio in your area. The price is $15 a month and you get access to 40 workout videos ranging in time from 10-60 minutes. They even have pregnancy and post-pregnancy videos!

Did you accomplish something that surprised you or made you proud? Please share!

Have a wonderful evening!