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Dark Days

30 Nov

Not only are the days darker but my mood has followed suit. Since my last blog post things have been difficult. I’ve been trying to figure out what it is–my anti-depressant not working, the weather, work, stress…I’m not sure if I’ll ever know the answer but my doctor and I are trying.

Right now I’ve switched from Celexa to Prozac. I’ve been on Celexa since I was 20 (quick math, that’s eleven years). My doctor thinks it wasn’t working anymore, and there have been some negative studies lately regarding Celexa and the dosage I was on. Celexa also can cause you to be tired, which is not good for me when I’m depressed because I sleep a lot. Prozac is supposed to increase my energy a bit. It’s been a long process since I have to slowly go off the old pills and slowly up the dosage on the other. This means going off the Celexa caused flu like symptoms and mood swings. Now that I’m on the Prozac I’ve had trouble sleeping. The past three nights I have insomnia. It’s a little scary what drugs can do to your body and mind.

What would help during this process is working out. Since I last blogged I haven’t been consistent with any sort of exercise program or food plan. I know it’s important I do something but with my lack of sleep the last thing I want to do is workout. So why was I slacking before I went to the doctor? Depression. It makes it difficult to do my normal tasks.

This next week will mark the Celexa being completely gone from my body. With my husband’s help I plan on getting food situated this weekend. Tonight I’m going to try everything I can think of to help me sleep so I can get back on a regular schedule. This will help me to get on track for the gym. If I can’t get up early, I may have to start going to the gym after work.

As I learned in college, it is very important for someone with depression to have a schedule. It gives you control over at least a small aspect of your life and helps you at least know some of the things you can expect for the day.

In other news, I just got done reading The Lost Dogs by Jim Gorant. I was bawling before I got to Chapter Four. Typically I avoid books, shows, commercials, and movies where dogs are abused. I knew eventually there would be some good in the book and I think it’s important to educate myself before I discuss topics. The book was good but I in no way shape or form forgive Michael Vick. I feel if someone can inflict pain and torture on a living thing, they are capable of anything. How could you do something to a helpless being when they are crying in pain. It makes me want to vomit. And fight for dogs’ rights! After reading the book I decided to become more involved and am looking into donating and volunteering for ASPCA and similar organizations.

The good thing about the Vick case is it brought more attention to dogfighting and all of the dogs minus one were given a chance for a new life. In previous dogfighting cases, almost all dogs were euthanized due to potential danger. A majority of the Vick dogs were rehabilitated and are house pets. Some are even therapy dogs!

I have to remind myself to look at the good and focus on that. With all the great people who surround me and my dear pup, I know I can do it. I’ll be back on Sunday with meal planning and a workout schedule.

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8 Mile

6 Sep

My weekend can pretty much be summed up in one word; staining. We stained all 1100 square feet of our fence except for 12 boards (we ran out of stain). Luckily that part is on the back where I don’t see it or I would’ve been running to Lowe’s yesterday at 5pm to get more stain. We weren’t even going to finish it this weekend but I HATE leaving a project unfinished. I like it done yesterday.

Friday was crazy busy. It totally got away from me. I was supposed to get done at 5:30 but I believe I left after 6pm. My boss didn’t even leave until 8pm! We are in the process of hiring two new employees and they have to start training on the 12th of this month. Yikes! Needless to say, I didn’t want to take time to cook when I got home. I turned my Chipotle Lime Tempeh Tacos into a taco salad. I added some chipotle salsa, cheese and avocado. Mmm….

Saturday I did my long run, eight miles, with the pup. We went pretty early in the morning but Edie still got pretty hot. I stopped at about 6 miles and let her jump in the river. When we got home the silly dog wanted to play soccer. I kicked it a couple of times for her even though she could barely breathe. We came inside and she drank all the water from her bowl. A few minutes later I heard a familiar sound and saw that she puked all her water up on the floor. That was pretty fun to clean up, course, it’s good it was just water. That night we went to our neighbors’ house for a BBQ. It was absolutely delicious! They made salsa, salmon, chicken, and corn. At the hub’s request I made a chocolate pudding pie (super easy; make chocolate pudding, put it in the graham cracker crust, top with whip cream after it’s been in the fridge for a couple hours). After having years and years of horrible apartment neighbors, it’s so nice to have our own home near neighbors we love.

The rest of the weekend was filled with staining the fence. My in-laws came up, and the girls went shopping and ran errands for most of the day and the boys stained. I tried to relax when we were done but I had to pitch in and help. We also let Edie out during breaks since she spent the whole day inside whining. We were using a sprayer and didn’t want to have a red dog.

Kick my ball!

The next morning Elisa and I took the dogs to the river. It was pretty shallow so they had a grand old time running through the water. After we got home I was itching to get the neighbors side of the house stained. Because they have trees about a few inches away from the fence, I had to stain by hand. I stained the whole side of the fence in about three and a half hours. I just put my Ipod in and rocked it out (I hope all the neighbors liked my rendition of “Baby Got Back”).

Play Time!

After we finished, meal planning and grocery shopping were the last thing I wanted to do. I was absolutely exhausted and actually debated going to bed at 7pm. I was about 150 pages from finishing my book, The Raising, and since it was a mystery/suspense I had to see it through to the end. Since my mom is coming tomorrow I just picked up some Alexia’s fries to pair with turkey burgers. That will tide us over for a few days before I send my mom grocery shopping.

I am so excited to see her! She is like my twin in so many ways, it’s a little scary. Our wedding reception is at our house on the 17th so she is coming to lend her assistance. My dad took a trip to Minnesota so he’s going to join us a little later.

I had an 8am appointment today and another one tomorrow so I must get some rest. Less than 24 hours until I see my mom!

Epic Fail

1 Sep

The rooster from the nearby farm decided I didn’t need to sleep until my alarm went off. I highly disagreed with him, but darn him, he is persistent. I still didn’t drag my tired bum out of bed until my cell phone started beeping from across the room (to ensure I got out of bed). I swear the change in weather and the change in light makes it that much more difficult to work out in the morning.

Edie was absolutely hell on wheels this morning. Apparently she did not like taking a rest from running either. For a full block she kept jumping up on me and trying to nip me. I finally had to sprint to get her to stop. I was aiming for three miles but we only ran two. After about a half a mile I could feel the pain in my shins. As soon as I got home I got some ice and smacked some on both shins for about twenty minutes. After that I massaged my shins for five minutes as my buddy Steve recommended. I wore my Sofft shoes at work and was able to sit at the desk most of the day. They are feeling pretty good so I’m going to head out in the morning again and rest on Saturday.

Edie had a pretty great day. Not only did she get a morning run and an afternoon of back to back soccer games with her dad, but Edie also met a new man. Now don’t get me wrong, Benny will be her #1 man for life but she likes to keep her options open, especially since she lives a little further away now. She met a new neighbor named Rhino and it was love at first sight (or it could be because he still has his balls; I like to think a little more romantically). He is a black lab/possible catahoula mix and just absolutely gorgeous. Plus he is huge and very mellow, unlike someone else I know. We made plans with the neighbors that these two will definitely have more adventures.

Edie and her first love, Benny

And for the epic fail of the day….I decided to try to deceive my husband….This is very difficult because I can only keep a secret that I’ve created or about myself for a MAXIMUM of twenty-four hours. I am the queen of spilling the beans. When some friends and I snuck out of the house in middle school, I told my mother after it happened. Yeah, not so sneaky. Well, I made Chipotle Lime Tempeh Tacos and tried to pass them off as turkey to the meat-loving-pickiest-eater-ever, and I confessed about half way through his first taco that it was not meat. He knew something was off because I asked if he liked it, and all I got was a “it’s okay” (note; in Nathan-speak this means “I don’t like it”). Needless to say, I finished his second taco and he had a frozen three meat pizza.

Out of lettuce and avocado; booo!

In other news, I had a meatless Thursday! Yah, less impact on the planet! Maybe it will make up for my total hour commute every day. 😦

Off to digest all my yummy tempeh tacos and read an addicting book that is nearly impossible to put down, The Raising. Check it out!