I’m not a fan of change. In the past year I’ve become better at dealing with it, but I don’t think there are many things that will change your life more than having a child. Now that I’m in my third trimester, I feel like the crazy pregnancy hormones are kicking in. I’ve always been a more emotional person than the average Jane, but my husband made the comment a few months back, “You’ve done a lot better than I thought you would.”
Well, hello third trimester. I feel like I am a mix of emotions, going from one extreme to another. One moment I’m excited for baby girl to come, the next minute I’m absolutely terrified. It’s not like I’m not prepared. I’ve read the books, watched DVDs, talked to numerous moms, and signed up for a class at the local community college. There are just some things that you can’t be prepared for, no matter how many burp cloths, onesies, and baby items you own.
I’m scared that my relationship with my husband will change in a negative way. I’m afraid I won’t have any “me” time. I’m worried I won’t be able to work out. I’m nervous I won’t have time to make the healthy meals my family needs. I’m concerned about going back to work, pumping at work, and balancing all that goes along with being a working mom.
I was at the library yesterday and happened to see Jessica Alba’s book The Honest Life. I thought I would check it out since we plan to use the Honest Company diapers. I skimmed through the book last night and came across the chapter on parenting. Sometimes you come across the right things at the right time, and there is no explanation. Jessica wrote about my biggest fear, losing the connection with my husband. She talked about how having a child brings you even closer, how there is a new romantic once your baby comes, like when he offers to take the baby for an hour while you get some alone time. It brought me back to the day we found out our first pregnancy had resulted in a missed miscarriage. That day and the weeks to follow brought Nathan and I closer than we have ever been. Parenthood will strengthen us even more. I’m under no illusion that it will be easy, but with each other, I know we can get through it and life will be even more wonderful.
As far as my other concerns, I know it will be a challenge to get in workouts and healthy meals. But if I make them a priority because I know I need them to be a good mom, I’m confident I can fit workouts and prepping meals in. I might not be able to fit in an hour workout but twenty minutes is better than none.
With work, I will just have to take it day by day. If something isn’t working or I’m having difficulties, I will know what to do and who to talk to. If I continue to dwell on something that might not be an issue, it could become an issue.
Part of the reason for my concerns is I try to listen to everything that people tell me as far as advice goes. I think it’s come to the point where I need to respectfully listen, and let things go through one ear and out the other. I’ve had people tell me babies have colic for the first three months, I’ve been told there are times where I will just want to leave, and I’ve been told horror stories of labor. Every parent’s experience in parenthood is different. I can’t predict how I’m going to feel or how my baby will act. If we come across a difficulty such as colic, we have a pediatrician in place, parents who are willing to help, and plenty of access to information on possible solutions.
Bottom line, things will change. Change is uncomfortable, but without change there is no growth. Without change, I would not be the person I am today.