Archive | November, 2011

Dark Days

30 Nov

Not only are the days darker but my mood has followed suit. Since my last blog post things have been difficult. I’ve been trying to figure out what it is–my anti-depressant not working, the weather, work, stress…I’m not sure if I’ll ever know the answer but my doctor and I are trying.

Right now I’ve switched from Celexa to Prozac. I’ve been on Celexa since I was 20 (quick math, that’s eleven years). My doctor thinks it wasn’t working anymore, and there have been some negative studies lately regarding Celexa and the dosage I was on. Celexa also can cause you to be tired, which is not good for me when I’m depressed because I sleep a lot. Prozac is supposed to increase my energy a bit. It’s been a long process since I have to slowly go off the old pills and slowly up the dosage on the other. This means going off the Celexa caused flu like symptoms and mood swings. Now that I’m on the Prozac I’ve had trouble sleeping. The past three nights I have insomnia. It’s a little scary what drugs can do to your body and mind.

What would help during this process is working out. Since I last blogged I haven’t been consistent with any sort of exercise program or food plan. I know it’s important I do something but with my lack of sleep the last thing I want to do is workout. So why was I slacking before I went to the doctor? Depression. It makes it difficult to do my normal tasks.

This next week will mark the Celexa being completely gone from my body. With my husband’s help I plan on getting food situated this weekend. Tonight I’m going to try everything I can think of to help me sleep so I can get back on a regular schedule. This will help me to get on track for the gym. If I can’t get up early, I may have to start going to the gym after work.

As I learned in college, it is very important for someone with depression to have a schedule. It gives you control over at least a small aspect of your life and helps you at least know some of the things you can expect for the day.

In other news, I just got done reading The Lost Dogs by Jim Gorant. I was bawling before I got to Chapter Four. Typically I avoid books, shows, commercials, and movies where dogs are abused. I knew eventually there would be some good in the book and I think it’s important to educate myself before I discuss topics. The book was good but I in no way shape or form forgive Michael Vick. I feel if someone can inflict pain and torture on a living thing, they are capable of anything. How could you do something to a helpless being when they are crying in pain. It makes me want to vomit. And fight for dogs’ rights! After reading the book I decided to become more involved and am looking into donating and volunteering for ASPCA and similar organizations.

The good thing about the Vick case is it brought more attention to dogfighting and all of the dogs minus one were given a chance for a new life. In previous dogfighting cases, almost all dogs were euthanized due to potential danger. A majority of the Vick dogs were rehabilitated and are house pets. Some are even therapy dogs!

I have to remind myself to look at the good and focus on that. With all the great people who surround me and my dear pup, I know I can do it. I’ll be back on Sunday with meal planning and a workout schedule.

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