New Smoothie Recipe and Other Musings

1 Aug

The past two mornings I haven’t wanted to get out of bed. Now, I know people say that, but I literally did not want to leave the house. I was so sad, anxious, and crabby that I felt the world would be a better place if I just stayed in. Why? That is a very good question, and I do not have the answer. The only answer I have is that I have major depression. Now before I get into the nitty gritty, I’ll tell you why I decided to blog about my illness. I’ve read a couple posts from my favorite bloggers that went over similar topics, especially one from Hungry Runner Girl. She wrote a great post about how she tries to be happy and positive all the time for other people but she can only do so much. Been there, done that.

I have had anxiety and depression since I was a young child. There were times I would tell my mom I wanted to die when I was only five years old. I told her I wanted to go home to Jesus. I can’t even imagine what my poor mother thought. I wasn’t diagnosed with anxiety issues until high school when I began acting out at home. I punched through the dining room window, and I cut myself with a knife. I went to therapy but wasn’t on any medication. In my sophomore year in college I became very depressed. I didn’t go to classes and received the worst grades I’ve ever had. The second semester I laid some pills out on my desk. Instead of taking them, I called for help. I was hospitalized for one night and released into the care of my parents (who are THE best parents in the world). I had to drop out of school that semester and my roommates asked me to move out, people who I thought were my friends, because they didn’t want to feel responsible for me.

Those were not good times. I’ve been on Celexa since then and have my ups and downs. I want to get off my anti-depressants someday but I am also aware that this may not happen. This illness runs in both sides of my family, with several people committing suicide on my dad’s side.

At work this morning I had a breakdown. I had my moment where I cried in the bathroom. People were wondering why I was sad. There was a comment, “She has a brand new house, new husband, and so many things going for her.” Let me settle this, not once have I wanted someone to feel bad for me. I want people to try to understand me. I know that I am very blessed and I am thankful for that everyday. The thing about depression is it’s a disease. I don’t know why I feel sad sometimes, or why I feel worthless, I just do. A majority of the time I can talk myself out of it, but I have my moments. I can’t be happy all the time. There are times where my raw emotions will take over.

This is another reason I need to exercise. When I exercise I feel like there is a strong possibility that I will be able to go off my medication. And I have made long strides since the day I was hospitalized. But this is something that will always be with me.

On a more cheerful note, I was greeted by my loving hub and happy pup when I got home which helped ease the heaviness on my chest. And I have a new smoothie recipe!

Mango Coconut Smoothie

1/2 cup frozen mango chunks

1/2 frozen banana

1 scoop vanilla protein powder

1 cup coconut water

1/2 cup soy milk

1/2 tablespoon flax meal

1 handful spinach

Put all in the blender and let ‘er rip! I drink half and leave the other half in the freezer until the next day.

For breaky, I had the smoothie and a piece of my Clean Eating Banana Bread. Lunch was the shrimp salad, chased with some snacks of Planters Energy Mix and grapes with a side of string cheese. I was going to have leftovers for dinner but I let the hub eat the chicken and I had cereal.

I checked out a weight lifting DVD at the library today which I’m excited to use this week. I will be sure to give a review!

8 Responses to “New Smoothie Recipe and Other Musings”

  1. sheelbeel August 1, 2011 at 8:22 PM #

    My goodness this smoothie looks good. I like that you use frozen fruit too – it’s my favorite way to make smoothies because they end up so much thicker which is nice. Can’t wait to try this out for breakfast or post-workout!

    • baybaybites August 1, 2011 at 8:24 PM #

      Me too! And then you don’t have to use ice. 🙂

  2. Marsha August 2, 2011 at 8:26 AM #

    I love your recipes and menus. You are like my meal planner. In regard to your smoothie recipe. Isn’t coconut supposed to have a lot of fat? I see that coconut is being incorporated into many foods these days. Is it an energy booster?

    I read Hungry Runner Girl’s post. It’s amazing to learn that so many young women, and perhaps women in general, have problems such as yours. It must be good to learn that you are not alone and many others do understand.

    • baybaybites August 2, 2011 at 9:34 AM #

      Coconut water doesn’t have a lot of fat. It’s almost like a Powerade and Gatorade as far as replenishing your electrolytes after a workout but it’s much better for you because it’s natural and not full of a bunch of ingredients you can’t even pronounce.

      Coconut milk does have fat but I would just get light coconut milk for recipes.


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